Snakes on a Plane

If you see one movie this year. See that movie and then watch "Snakes on a Plane".

This was the most hyped movie in the history of the 'net. Like Joss Wheadon's "Serenity" it pretty much flopped in the theaters. Why? Well, I'm glad you asked.

There are two ways to watch this movie.
1. Sober: Sober is the WORST way to do it. You will be questioning your very existence (and why you wasted all your time) after about three minutes.

2. Drunk or otherwise "altered". Let's examine this further....
Getting tanked and watching "Snakes on a Plane" is probably the BEST idea in the history of mankind. This movie must rank among the all time great movies to get drunk to.

So without further ado, here is the top 10 things I liked about "Snakes".
10. The movie starts and ends with really nonsensical "surfer buddy" feel. Nice book ends to snakes killing people.
9. The bad guy only appears in two scenes. This is great because the villain has all the charm of a bad of stinky socks. Everyone is so afraid of him. I have no clue why.
8. A wide variety of no-name talent doing a pretty convincing job on the plane. You find yourself wondering "How is this person going to die?".
7. The plane, the plane. Are big planes really this nice with upper decks and only THREE flight attendants.
6. Those damn flight attendants. One old and bitter, one quitting to go to law school, and one just stereotypically gay (you think).
5. Snakes of every shape and size.
4. Snakes dropping down with the air masks (I predicted this a year ago when I heard the movie was actually being made).
3. Anaconda...annoying British man...gulp!
2. Sam Jackson. Need I say more?
1. Any scene that involved the bathroom on the plane. The phrase "get off my d$#% you damn snake" will live on FOREVER.

Trust me, just get really tanked and see this movie. I think my sides hurt for an entire weekend because I was laughing so hard.